Conversations: The Truth About Introverts

Conversations is a bi-weekly meme hosted by Geraldine @Corralling Books and Joan @ Fiddler Blue. Their meme is where I got the name Conversations from, and I will be using their post topics on the weeks they have them. If you want to join then follow the links, they really are great topics.


This week I wanted to discuss something that I feel like most of the bookish community can relate to: being an introvert.

This topic is dear to me for several reasons, one of which being that I am an introvert and I feel highly misunderstood about it. There is this negative stigma around introversion, one that is usually met with demands of us to leave our homes and socialize. But why are introverts the weird ones? And why do extroverts get all the glory?

The Truth About Introverts

Let’s get this out of the way now. Introverts do not hate people. We aren’t socially awkward or hate leaving our homes for fear of seeing another human being. We aren’t all shy and anxiety ridden.

We don’t hate people, we just prefer a select few. Introverts are more private by nature. We aren’t ones to complain loudly to a group of people in public and around strangers, we don’t strike up random conversations with people we don’t know, and we don’t tend to have a multitude of friends we surround ourselves with every night. When we get comfortable, we don’t mind sharing with a group of people we know and trust, but the real trust will usually only spread to a select few individuals.

I have 2 people that I will actually talk to. And I only really hang out with one of those, and we live together. I just don’t find enjoyment in a large group of people. In fact, imagining it is completely unpleasant and draws out words like “loud,” “obnoxious,” and “overwhelming.” That’s not how I feel about people, it’s how I feel about groups.

We aren’t socially awkward, we are just less social than our extrovert counterparts. I fair pretty well in social situations. I’m a server, so I’m not useless when it comes to talking to people. I can keep a conversation going, especially if I like the subject. And I’m not some babbling idiot when it comes to talking to new people, I just don’t like to do it.

Introversion doesn’t mean that you can’t socialize or that you suck at it. It just means you tolerate less socializing. For me, a day at work is enough human interaction for a week. I don’t go out with friends or coworkers, especially after a day of serving people. Being around people non-stop makes me so very exhausted. Unlike extroverts who gain this mental energy from being around other people, I gain that energy from being on my own, in my own world, working on my own things. And that’s not a bad thing.

We aren’t rude or quiet, we just care about what we say. Introverts aren’t ones for small talk. Actually, there is little more I find cringe worthy than the staggered “good mornings” I receive from co-workers when I go into work. I tend to wear headphones just to avoid it.

 It’s not that we hate talking, it’s just that we would rather be talking about something important or something that interests us. We like conversations not chit-chat. I can’t give you a reason for this, it’s just how we are. If you want to get an introvert really talking, just bring up something that interests them.


Introversion isn’t a bad thing. It isn’t second best to the “Extrovert Ideal” that the world has created. Frankly, I’m tired of being told I need to get out more, that I don’t have a social life, or that I read too much.

It’s not a bad thing!

We are introverts, not extroverts. We are different personality types, we act differently and process differently. Since when did that become a bad thing?

 

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5 thoughts on “Conversations: The Truth About Introverts

  1. You’re so right! I’m an introvert too and people around me can’t understand why after a full week at university I don’t feel the need to go out with friends every evening of the weekend. I need those days to recharge for the week ahead!

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  2. Amen! I’m an INFJ and my husband is an ENTP. It’s wonderful being an introvert married to an extrovert because my husband understands that difference and loves me enough to respect it… most of the time. He likes to talk and I like to listen. When we’re out and about, he does all the talking to people, and I don’t have to.

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  3. Great post! I agree with pretty much all this- there’s nothing wrong with being an introvert and yes- the good mornings and how are you doings? Sometimes it’s not a good morning lol.

    Also the bit where you say introverts prefer conversations, not just small talk. So true- I hate having to make small talk sometimes.

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    1. I don’t think I ever realized how much I hated small talk as well until I was actually researching being an introvert. I would much rather tell someone how I am genuinely feeling than just talk about the weather or something equally as mundane.

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      1. I really dislike talking about the weather so strongly! Yet I find myself talking about it so often at work! It kills me a little every time because I don’t care about the weather at all.
        It’s so strange though that being an extrovert has become the “normal” thing to be in our society. As you said it’s just two different types of personality and neither one is more preferable than the other. I just wonder how that bias came about that introversion was less awesome than extroversion. In any case, it’s great that you’re talking about it openly, it helps create discussion and hopefully also understanding in all parties involved.

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